Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 576

“You never seen a bookworm?… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 577

“Look at this, Dave, here’s some bookworms.” I threw my book on the thing, that the cover flew open, and the worms flew out on his desk, and the cover flew back like this, and it said “Monkeys on the Interstate.” Dave goes, “What in the heck is this?” “It’s… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 578

You know why I did them?… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 574

I cut the center out of the book. I went downtown, New York city. I bought me some big earthworms that people fish with. I put them inside my book. I put my book like this, I walked out there. And then they check me now every time I walk… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 575

They didn’t notice the frigging book, ’cause I had a, some feed, for the other animal I had on there. I put right here, on this, he didn’t see it. And I said, “Dave, you ever seen a bookworm?” He said, “What?” Cause I surprised him, he didn’t know what… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 572

I sold them at below costs. So what I did was on Letterman, I thought this, like, a week before, I didn’t tell anybody, nobody. Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 573

I took my book, “Monkeys on the Interstate”, right?… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 569

I already did my book, screw it, you know?… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 570

I don’t care if I sell one copy of one million, ’cause the money I made off my book wouldn’t pay for probably the gasoline for one year. But anyway, so we just dropped it. Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 571

We sold thousands of, but who cares?… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 566

I little trigger underneath the bat box. My buddy, Don, in the maintenance department designed this. ‘Cause I said, “You know, Dave, I never had,” I took this on the show. I said, “Dave, I never had bats on here. “Bats are important to nature. “Dave, without bats, world could… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 567

Opened the hole up, I pulled the trigger. The damn thing, with hair on this tennis ball, flew up and hit him right here on the side of the head. Oh buddy, it wasn’t even, to me, people with nuts. I mean, went crazy. But Dave didn’t like that at… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 568

They wanted me to go out and promote my book everywhere. I’d never get on. If I ever did, I said, “No, I’m not doing it.” “You already signed this contract. “You have to go on Letterman, Good Morning, America, “And two other shows. “You have to promote your book… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 563

This is terrible, we, of course they love watching ’cause they don’t know what I’m gonna do. You know, I don’t know I’m gonna do either. Like when I showed him a bat, one time. Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 564

I created this myself, I took a tennis ball, put hair on it, okay?… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 565

I had a box, called a bat box, you know?… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 560

It’s almost like going into a game with him, you know?… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 561

You can’t match wits with a guy. He’s got the greatest wit of any comedian in the history of, Johnny Carson was good too, but Letterman is, he’s not Johnny Carson, none of us are. We’re all who we are, but he’s quick. Oh he can tear you apart in… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 562

How do you let him treat you that way?… Read More

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And so they’re, they’re watching TV, what?… Read More