Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 585

“Oh yeah, hold it, Jack. Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 586

“You get them in Australia? Are you kidding me?… Read More

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I don’t know what word to use here ’cause it’s not a nice word, but you don’t want to become a person, aw, darn it. You know the word I’m looking for here. (indistinct) Yeah, but let’s say, you know the word, everybody watches this knows the word. The point… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 582

You probably, might even notice this shirt. My shirts and clothes, I bought by, Jack Nicholas is, we all know famous people, he’s a very dear friend, and he loves animals. Been a friend for years. I had dinner with about six years ago. We had Christmas dinner with him,… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 583

And I buy these on my own. But I said, “I get these in Australia. Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 579

Because I do the product. I do the NutriMax ad for dogs, for the joint stuff because our dog took it. Three years before the company even called me. I did Black and Decker once because I use Black and Decker tools. I think, oh yeah, I did Lee Jeans… Read More

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I, because you know what you become on TV, if you’re not careful?… Read More

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“You never seen a bookworm?… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 577

“Look at this, Dave, here’s some bookworms.” I threw my book on the thing, that the cover flew open, and the worms flew out on his desk, and the cover flew back like this, and it said “Monkeys on the Interstate.” Dave goes, “What in the heck is this?” “It’s… Read More

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You know why I did them?… Read More

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I cut the center out of the book. I went downtown, New York city. I bought me some big earthworms that people fish with. I put them inside my book. I put my book like this, I walked out there. And then they check me now every time I walk… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 575

They didn’t notice the frigging book, ’cause I had a, some feed, for the other animal I had on there. I put right here, on this, he didn’t see it. And I said, “Dave, you ever seen a bookworm?” He said, “What?” Cause I surprised him, he didn’t know what… Read More

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I sold them at below costs. So what I did was on Letterman, I thought this, like, a week before, I didn’t tell anybody, nobody. Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 573

I took my book, “Monkeys on the Interstate”, right?… Read More

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I already did my book, screw it, you know?… Read More

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I don’t care if I sell one copy of one million, ’cause the money I made off my book wouldn’t pay for probably the gasoline for one year. But anyway, so we just dropped it. Read More

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We sold thousands of, but who cares?… Read More

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I little trigger underneath the bat box. My buddy, Don, in the maintenance department designed this. ‘Cause I said, “You know, Dave, I never had,” I took this on the show. I said, “Dave, I never had bats on here. “Bats are important to nature. “Dave, without bats, world could… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 567

Opened the hole up, I pulled the trigger. The damn thing, with hair on this tennis ball, flew up and hit him right here on the side of the head. Oh buddy, it wasn’t even, to me, people with nuts. I mean, went crazy. But Dave didn’t like that at… Read More

Interview 6125 – Caption Index: 568

They wanted me to go out and promote my book everywhere. I’d never get on. If I ever did, I said, “No, I’m not doing it.” “You already signed this contract. “You have to go on Letterman, Good Morning, America, “And two other shows. “You have to promote your book… Read More